hmmm.
i'm also messed up because he's gone.
to barcelona. for 11 days. no big deal. right?
RIGHT. WRONG. MOPE.
the bastard. walking in and out of my existence like that.
i'm going to be very stoic.
to hell with him. with men.
someone asked me out last weekend, and then insisted that i
go with him to his fucking farmhouse in fucking alibag.
and then gill says cos i seem like someone who doesn't care
about the rules. or anything. like i can do whatever. mostly.
but not with some rich fuck at his effing farmhouse in alibag.
i have standards.
and i like being asked.

so he said barcelona on sunday. and i thought
you're leaving me.
of course, of course he said before he told me he did
that he'll go on the 9th, so why did i gasp and think
you're leaving me.
he's not with me to be leaving him.
shitshitshit.
i'm moping. MOPING. in capitals.
why does he have to mess with me?

i'm going to be stoic.
very much so.
and i'll try not to talk about him to
random strangers.
which i did today. oh what a fool i am.

if you're in bangalore, you must go to Koshys.
if i were in barcelona i'd be with him.

que sera.
sera.

shitfuckpiss.